Whisper
by Black Onyx Angel
Summary: harry contemplates his life...


Whisper

  


A/N: This just came out of nowhere, and I don't know how confusing it is. I didn't proof read it and I don't care for it to be proofed for me. This came out in a fit of rage and depression... hence the theme behind it all... I put this up for me, but if you find you like it, or can relate to anything contained within here, just leave a review, it just might cheer me up... The title, is the title of the song I used. We all now I don't own Hp, now you all know that I don't not own Evanescence either... This song belongs to them...

  
  


He was falling. Falling into the darkness that has been clamoring for him since his earliest memories. Wanting him since his first tears were shed. Begging for him since he'd lost those closest to him. How can he tell them what he's feeling? How can he described it? This feeling ebbs and flows like the tide following the moon. It's there, strong as the stone walls surrounding him, then it's faded, distant like his past niggling at the back of his mind, letting him know that it's still there...

  


_Catch me as I fall_

_Say you're here and it's all over now_

_Speaking to the atmosphere_

_No one's here and I fall into myself_

_This truth drives me_

_Into madness_

_I know I can stop the pain_

_If I will it all away_

_If I will it all away_

  


He knew, if he told someone, anyone, he could pull himself out... but he didn't. He told no one, afraid of the criticism that would infallibly follow at confession's heels. There was no one he trusted enough to tell. 

  


_Don't turn away_

_(Don't give in to the pain)_

_Don't try to hide_

_(Though they're screaming your name)_

_Don't close your eyes_

_(God knows what lies behind them)_

_Don't turn out the light_

_(Never sleep, never die)_

  


It kept getting worse. It finally got so bad that a razor and bandages became his best friends. They never noticed as he slowly continued to drown in that darkness. His razor was his salvation now, but how far would he be willing to go to escape the pain and sorrow? How far would he go to escape his feelings? Would he give his life?

  


_I'm frightened by what I see_

_But somehow I know_

_That there's much more to come_

_Immobilized by my fear_

_And soon to be_

_Blinded by tears_

_I can stop the pain_

_If I will it all away_

_If I will it all away_

  


What irony that would be, right? The Boy Who Lived, taking his own life. He would have been alive for nothing. They would not remember him as their hero, but as the coward who took his life and disappointed the whole wizarding world. Which was the greater of evils? Pretending to be something he wasn't or showing them what he really feels inside? 

  


_Don't turn away_

_(Don't give in to the pain)_

_Don't try to hide_

_(Though they're screaming your name)_

_Don't close your eyes_

_(God knows what lies behind them)_

_Don't turn out the light_

_(Never sleep, never die)_

  


Should he show them the darkness that harbors itself inside of him? Would they understand it? Would they even see it? Would they scorn him for leaving them to face the Dark Lord with out him? Would he be forgiven?

  


_Fallen angels at my feet_

_Whispered voices at my ear_

_Death before my eyes_

_Lying next to me I fear_

_She beckons me_

_Shall I give in_

_Upon my end shall I begin_

_Forsaking all I've fallen for_

_I rise to meet my end_

  


No. His decision was made. He doesn't care what they think nor what they want. Not any more. He would do as he saw fit and they can burn in Hell for what they put him through.

  


_Don't turn away_

_(Don't give in to the pain)_

_Don't try to hide_

_(Though they're screaming your name)_

_Don't close your eyes_

_(God knows what lies behind them)_

_Don't turn out the light_

_(Never sleep, never die)_

  


He never touched the razor to his wrists again. He never gave in though he continued to be pulled in. He refused to drown in face of his desires. He wants to show them that they no longer control him. They can no longer control his life, his destiny. They belonged onle to him, they were his alone. He would never hide in the world and if he chose to follow the path they have set before him, so be it. But he'll walk it only as far as he wants, not a step further.

  


_Don't turn away_

_(Don't give in to the pain)_

_Don't try to hide_

_(Though they're screaming your name)_

_Don't close your eyes_

_(God knows what lies behind them)_

_Don't turn out the light_

_(Never sleep, never die)_

  


They never saw him after the last battle. A great many of them think that he died in it. But others, those who are more understanding of what he went through, know better than to think that he is really gone. Gone from them, maybe, but gone from the world? No. He still walks among them, he still lives, he still breathes. The Boy Who Lived continues to live his own life.

  


_Don't turn away_

_(Don't give in to the pain)_

_Don't try to hide_

_(Though they're screaming your name)_

_Don't close your eyes_

_(God knows what lies behind them)_

_Don't turn out the light_

_(Never sleep, never die)_

  
  


A/N: ... please tell me what you think... I'm actually a bit leery about this one...


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